Happy Birthday to Single and the Sweet Side of 40: A birth, a death and the whole half story
October 24, 2013
Happy Birthday, Single and the Sweet Side of 40. Welcome to the blogosphere.
Launching a new website on a mid-autumn Thursday is not an obvious move. An optimist (not me) or PR Pro (formerly me) might focus on the slow-news-day aspect; it should be easier to get the story out.
A logical person, a data analyst or a business strategist might try to rule the day with facts and pie charts. Clearly, not, not, not me.
Me? Why did I decide this blog should be born October 24, 2013?
It’s my half-birthday, of course. Who could resist starting a website for single people on a day that is special for being half of something? Not me, because in a world where “whole” is only possible by joining two halves, single women have a bigger PR problem than a blog born under Scorpio.
[blockQuote position=”left”]The problem is, single women aren’t half of what you expect.[/blockQuote]
We aren’t half of a married couple.
Despite census research and evidence to the contrary, to this day, women are expected to be married. And, truth be told, most of us expected to be married, if not in our 30s, abso-fucking-lutely in our 40s and then on into our 50s, 60s, etc. Until the death part.
But this is my half-birthday party and I’ll cry if I want to– though not because I’m single.
BTW, I don’t know why I am unattached, so don’t ask. On behalf of solo citizens everywhere, I beg you: DO. NOT. ASK. WHY.
It’s rude, frankly, and you can look forward more on the whys of why not in future posts. For now, let’s leave it at this: human beings owe one another civility. Simple decency. Unpretentious politeness.
For instance, when you indecently ask why I am single, I politely don’t punch you.
I cried on my 40th birthday, for six months. I cried on another important birthday, too. Not mine. Jesus’s. And though not the greatest story ever told, there are some lessons in my Christmas tale:
[li]Expectations aren’t great. [/li]
[li]Every serving is single. [/li]
[li]My better half is better than most, and most of all, it’s mine. [/li]
[li]Alone is not lonely. [/li]
[li]My home is a sweet home. [/li]
[li]Every experience counts. Even the sucky ones. [/li]
[li]The goal is to be happy. [/li]
[li]Life waits for no man. [/li]
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The reason I’ll cry if I want to is half my furry family crossed the Rainbow Bridge one year ago today. My beautiful Laila, and every Boxer before her, left a dog-shaped hole in my life. I still miss the cutie-hoochie-face girl so much it hurts at times.
Laila’s younger brother Dempsey is lost without her; she was his better half. Sisters can be that, you know. Laila taught Dempsey how to be a Boxer, handsome and strong. She taught him to be brave (almost) and take care of me. She taught him to sing; they serenaded me every morning for nearly nine years. Now Dempsey sings alone.
So that’s why October 24. What else do you want to know? I don’t have much to add to Big Data on dating or intelligence on nuptials. I know my life got better when I stopped standing around waiting and started paying attention, actively seeking experiences and appreciating how ‘sweet it is.’
To be honest, I’m probably still waiting on the marriage thing but single is a demographic not a paralyzing condition. A good friend tells me I am “living in the right order.” Acting on dreams, not waiting until (fill in the blank).
I’d love to tell you I know all the answers to being content while you’re by yourself. I don’t. Single and the Sweet Side of 40 will document my attempts to follow my unwedded bliss.
On Location, I’ll chronicle the beauty of having people, food and art within walking distance, as well as the beast of solo chores and home maintenance.
Mates for Life will celebrate the rituals of friendship and kinship more than courtship because, hey, who’s really gonna celebrate your half-birthday with you, your bff or your bf?
If you got the Money, Honey, I got the time… to talk about how you got it. It’s expensive to be single, and marriage as a retirement plan is as reliable as a portfolio of penny stocks. Suggestions, please!?
Alone and lonely are very different states. While most self-help is like “Jersey Shore,” Self-Health is the Rocky Mountains: massive and majestic with a bit of rough terrain. Just like your life.
Life waits for no man. Neither should you. Sometimes it takes feats of Daring Do’s, sometimes, daring-don’ts. The important thing is to keep daring and keep doing. I will, and I hope you’ll come along.
Thank you for stopping by to say happy birthday, and here’s to my Laila. Thanks for helping me to be Single and the Sweet Side of 40, Hoochie Poochie. I promise to keep doing my best to find sugar in the raw experiences of every day, not just my half-birthday.
Life waits for no man. Neither do I.
Sweet talk to me! Leave a comment, email or tweet me @beth_odonnell and tell me what makes single life sweet for you.